music & lyric by jess meider

i hear it rumble, it slowly stumbles into the past

our big endeavor, we said forever, and end it like that

i tried pretending, it wasn’t ending, but i ain’t no fool

why were we waiting so set on saving what was untrue

just say it say it no reason not too

just say it! say it, it’s better if we do

we were a classic, durable plastic kinda love

i think i cracked it, heard it snapping then breaking us up

blame it on timing, blame it on age, but blame is silly

useless as rage

i hear it rumbling, tumbling from our mouths

just say it! say it, let it out let it roar

just say it! say it, the truth thunders and pours

this storm of sadness, has washed this badness into the soft earth

my heart has sobered, my eyes are calm

my need for you goes rumbling on

into the distance stumbling along

detached released as i sing this song

i’ll always love you when i say your name

but i am cleansed now …..right as rain

music and lyric by Jess Meider

the rain was coming down like diamonds spilling to the ground

i rose from my place and stood where the windows could surround

the wet felt delicious, as his arms circled around

and the wind blew rainwater all over our skin the sensitivity kicked in;

and we breathed in the night

we lay like naked children on top of my bed

as we touch, he talks alot, and says the things inside my head

how we weave and intertwine, doing what cannot be said

as his yang and my yin enthusiastically kick in

how we breathed in the night

bridge:

light powders over our deep evening sky

the sun’s resurrection, an opus of light

dawn chirps a melody, as the night lingers near by

breathing

i sit like a child on top of my bed

i miss him sometimes and and think of things i wish i’d said

he says when he gets back he’s gonna bake me lots of bread

so until he will, i can still feel the magic so mutual and actual

breathing the night

Sola Jess

Music & Lyrics by Jess Meider

i’d like to shed a tear for myself tonight

cuz that boy done gone left me standin in summer moon’s light

but i won’t shed a tear with sorrow no more

cuz i’ve got the key and love’s knockin at the door

moon’s on fire brilliant flies in my eyes

my face is uplifted, “my love” a soft reply

i got my own breath, and i now got this song

cuz love is the catalyst and i burn hot and long

i’ve got a love that expands so wide

trying to unlock itself from deep inside

hiding in the heart ain’t no way to live a life

throw off the illusion and live in the light

so i’ll shed a tear with joy for the boy

i’ll smile as i laugh like a child and a new toy

see, i choose the peace, no sorrow no more

cuz i’ve got the key… love’s open to explore

so throw down your fear you know where i’ll be

find me with the light and love’s lips tickling me

burnin’ burnin’

song & lyric by jess meider

sometimes i feel like a wilting leaf

thirsting for a sip of love, unable to find relief

other times i tolerate the empty space

i revel in my deepening union with solitary grace

all the bad choices, all the hard learning

all the crazy stories, my life force burning burning

occasionally, i meet a magic man

brave in his existence following his dreamy plans

he inspires the warrior in my bones

encouraging my dreamer,  so i can do it on my own

thru all the good choices, thru all that i am learning

all the seconds falling, my life force burning burning

cup of water in my determined hands

wetting my throat so my little voice easily extends

a guitar, a gentle counterpoint plays

a melody of a memory dances in my expanding grace

all my different voices, i’ve heard on recordings

all the songs that i sing, my life force burning burning

i embrace the woman i become,

the human my heart the energy the mixing into one

until now, was hard to vocalise

the goals i truly wanted, so i lived in silly lies

all my expectations transcendence and transforming

all my life been waiting for someone to do it for me

all the joy i feel, comfort inside this skin

all my love to loving life my life force burning burning

music & lyric by Jess Meider

individual colors remind me of those flecks in your eyes

i think about you at least twice a day

even though your physical absence has been 2 revolutions of sun around this planet

it’s like you never really left

i close my eyels and focus on your spirit

i feel the warmth of your clever smile …resonating…

this time around you’re not my husband, though ‘m sure we’ve been each other’s kings and queens

how lucky this life we are friends

touching you in this astral way, in a love from hundreds of years ago

kissing lips soft upon your face, no time or space, hundreds of years ago

you confirmed for me that magic is real and i still live life with that ideal

my skills now include vanishing crowds

i practice all the gong fu you taught me, i’ve got alot a new tricks of my own

like, can you hear it when i say your name outloud?

oh my dear one, here’s a song for us from a melody hundreds of years ago

kissing lips soft upon my face in a park made for us hundreds of years ago

time for me has become inconsequential i blink and a month passes by

i measure my life by the songs that i write

i dance in joy for the presence i’ve created, i dance in joy for no reason at all

i spin and whirl like a love crazed sufi

kissing lips soft upon my face in a park made for us hundreds of years ago

my darling one, it’s where we come from, the tale that remains hundreds of years ago

feels like hundreds of years ago

Lyric & Song by Jess Meider – 1998

i wondered where i was

i was starving for the answers

but i never thought about my problems alot

and i ran away from myself

i travelled many miles

but i never got anywhere

the journey of a fool is exhausting and untrue

i would arrive, but i was never there

i’m comin clean out of the earth

comin clean, so clear and pure

turnin to face the monsters inside

comin clean i’ve got nothing to hide

comin clean you lose everything

and the shame rains on your head

you cry it all out til there’s nothing left to cry about

you look up and you find your place again

you’re comin clean out of the earth

comin clean, so clear and pure

turnin to face the monsters inside

comin clean i’ve got nothing to hide

comin clean you learn how to feel

when you feel you learn how to love

all those songs that i wrote were as serious as a joke

i could sing “love” over and over, but it was never enough

so i’m comin clean, out of the earth

comin clean, so clear and pure

turnin to face the monsters inside

comin clean i’ve got nothing to hide

Over
words & music by jess meider

i hurt you, you hurt me
you hurt yourself, i hurt mine
we spin & whirl like mini tornados
and fly like big pans of clouds to the sea

i leave you, you leave me
you leave yourself and i leave mine
its just a cycle to cleanse our heart spots
evaporate condense and then shine

rolling we tow our heavy sad souls
to rain salty tears into the sea

over its never over
ya see it all comes around again
over, this cloud blows over
to reveal the sun on our skin

i love you, you love me
are we brave enough to love ourselves?
when the heart is centered, oh that’s when the soul shines
love lengthens, deepens and transcends

the sadness we tow is a black and blue soul
that rains salty tears into the sea
the past can let go, the suffering, the woes
let the wind carry it to the sea

over, it all starts over
trust this cycle’s beginning & end
oh, over the cloud always blows over
to reveal the sun on our skin

written by jess meider, june 2009

i’ve been milling thru the old karma

sticky sadness, biting anger, persistent demons

cleansed now, feelin right as a long gentle rain

i know my attitude’s fresh, tuned and changed

i’m ready for something good

i’m ready for something smooth

i’m ready for something good, bring it on

telling stories of my melodic martyrdom…those were trying times

always choosing fear when change was close…mmmm…a common mistake of mine

doing for others what i longed to do most for myself but that’s an old story line

i’m a little fledgling unraveling my wings to fly fly fly!

i’m ready for something good

i’m ready for something smooth

i’m ready for something good, in the sacred arms of the now

i am grateful for the wonderful souls, the terrifying lies

i am grateful for salt filled wounds and the kind healer’s eyes

i am grateful for the breath for my birth for my mom and my dad

i am grateful for everything that i have ever had or not had

and now i’m

ready for something good

i lie to myself,

i lie in bed with you

i feel so pretty

the moon waxing all over this city

so lovely so light tonight

i throw away expectation

no knowing what comes next

i feel so pretty

delighting in the sensuality

so lovely so light tonight

soft sighs smooth skin

touching intimate places within

falling leaves dancing above

we’re falling soft into a song of autumn’s love

souls mingling, entwining, reclining into this light tonight

the light of the candles

dances with the shadows on your face

i feel so pretty

keith jarrett trickling quietly, tenderly

so lovely, so light, tonight

written by jess meider (2005)

i’m dashing swiftly alone in the dark on this cold night
the wind picks up garbage and strings it like puppets as it dances and floats
oh my heart aches for this beautiful reprieve
some times the silence sings a lovely reverie

the moon far in front of me bright bottomed and naked so vulnerable
the sky is so navy the stars bright and crazy like i never noticed before
oh my heart exhales grateful for this view
how i long to share this with you